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Descartes’ Lost Lemma
- Descartes was bad at logic
- Penguins are bad at logic
- Therefore, Descartes was a penguin
You’ve all seen this proof before. Last week, however, a small group of mathies decided to look into this lemma and found out that Descartes was much more than just a penguin – as you’ll see by the lemma they discovered:
- We wear suits as an attempt to please others
- Whores attempt to please others
- Penguins wear suits
- Penguins are whores
- Descartes was a whore
Researchers attempted to confront the penguin community about this astounding breakthrough, but the lead penguin just squealed incomprehensibly while trying to run. Descartes was unavailable for comment.
–Krease
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brought to my attention by dan, after I had missed the previous copy of mathNews: the source of joy for all geeky mathies.

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