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Archive for December, 2007

On Wedding Magazines

From Elegant Brides 2008, a free bridal magazine for the Asian community in the GTA

The 5 Do’s and Don’t’s of a Weddng

The 5 Do’s

  1. Guest Invitations
    A wedding ceremony is a once-in-a-life-time opportunity you should invite as many relatives and friends as possible to witness what will prove to be the most joyous day of your life.
  2. Use Your Best Men and Brides Maids
    Your guests will try their very best to get you drunk. If you want to stay sober and remember what should be a memorable night, you must invite all your best men and best women to drink for you.
  3. Jacky Cheung
    Invite Jacky Cheung to perform “Your Name My Surname*. Beware of the cost for a spectacular night!
  4. Invite the Bride and Groom
    If you want to witness the live capture of the bride and groom taking each other as a prey, you must get an invitation. Minimum admission fee: $80. Absolutely no encore! **
  5. Honeymoon
    After you’ve gone through the above steps, you just need time off for your honeymoon!

The 5 Don’t’s

  1. Don’t Invite the Head-Turner
    Do not invite the “head-turner” – beautiful women that most men, including your newly wedded husband, might stare at all night. Remember you should be the most beautiful woman of the night!
  2. Don’t Allow Any Babies
    Babies usually make a scene wherever they go. Don’t allow any babies if you want to remain the centre of attention on your big night.
  3. Don’t Invite Aaron Kwok
    Aaron specializes in singing and dancing, often showing off his six-packs and his provocative gaze in the process. One of his most famous songs is called Steal Your Show. Don’t let him steal your bride. ***
  4. Don’t Allow Any Pets
    Do not allow any cute little pets that can easily draw others’ attention away from you. And let’s not forget the racket they can create. What’ll you do if they give your gorgeous wedding gown a bite?
  5. Don’t Invite Scrooge
    Frankly speaking, a wedding banquet is also a business. Don’t invite guests who have their wallets under lock and key. ****

* I’m a huge Jacky Cheung fan and love this song.
** Seriously, I don’t know what this point is about. The translation is just bizarre.
*** I don’t know how famous this song is, as I couldn’t find it on YouTube.
**** w. t. f.

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