tetleytee

starting over

Flower

Archive for February, 2005

freedom! sort of…

at 1157pm I submitted my half-completed assignment. part marks!

now I’m studying for my user interface midterm on monday. no fun for me! :(

running low on food

well not really. well sort of. the fridge is very slowly getting cleaned out by me and ambrose, which is a good thing. and a bad thing. it depends on how you wanna look at it, i just wanna make sure i have enough food to last me the week until i hit a grocery store. (read: someone drives me to a grocery store).

I really don’t have anything interesting to say. so. uh. yeah.

sanity check

thank you boys for your words of encouragement. at 148am last night (or… this morning I guess), I found the tiny tiny error that was screwing my code over all day. by 234am I had progressed a fair bit, well, for my standards, and went to bed satisfied. until I woke up this morning for 830 class looking like ass. ah, the joys of coding. the minute minute rediculously small particle joys of coding.

currently: progressing. I doubt I will have a full assignment by the time it’s due, but part marks, always part marks. gee, I hope my employer isn’t currently reading this thinking I’m extremely incompetent. cuz really, I’m not. really. *whimper* well if anything, he’ll know I’m dedicated. and emotional. HA!

empty house

my roomies have left for their weekend. and so have many of my friends. so what did I do? I swept the foyer of our suite because people have been tracking rocks in (myself included, not blaming anyone), and it was really bugging me. also, because a broom has suddenly appeared in our suite, and it looks suspiciously like those brooms in the mop rooms on our floor, but I trust my roomies don’t go around stealing wcri property. regardless, I swept the foyer clean of rocks. and disposed of them all in the hallway. *innocent look*. I figured that, since our building gets cleaned tomorrow anyways, why do all the work? don’t worry, I spread the rocks around so that it wasn’t an obvious pile infront of our door. I whacked some over to the neighbours door too.

… I hope they don’t know this website exists.

I’d write more…

but I have a feeling everyone is bored of my long ranting posts. so this one will be short. plus, if min find’s out I’ve been blogging instead of working on my assignment, he’ll kick my ass. and even my whiny charms won’t save me then.

also, ambrose will probably refuse to make me french toast. I’ve got a lot riding on this assignment huh? french toast and… a ticket out of a beating. I like how I set those priorities.

hope everyone’s having a superbulous (I’ve never tried to mash that word on here before) weekend!

i should look forward to disappointments by now

a very bad trait about me which I have a hard time changing (more like, I feel I shouldn’t have to change) is that I think other people should feel just as empathetic as I do. obviously this is never the case, and the bad part is that I get upset when they don’t. because I care so much, but they just don’t give a fuck. until it’s convenient. bastards.

and more

I also have a tendency to be stubborn about small things, little minute things. I constantly think about how I should become more self-sufficient and rely on people less (because that leads to disappointment, as stated above), and yet standing on my own two feet is hard. sometimes the ground is shaky, but I refuse to take a hand. actually, it’s more like… I feel there is NO hand to take. does that make sense? it’s like, I don’t want to be a burden to others and I don’t want them to see me as one.

so despite the fact that I’m failing in everything that I try to do, I refuse to ask for help and I refuse to let people know I’m drowning. one person who I expressed my sorrows to offered comfort in a conversation about hitmen in movies (which is acceptable because friend and I aren’t extremely close), and the other simply didn’t have the time or attention span to hear me out (which is not acceptable for any person who isn’t dying and isn’t feeling like their lungs are being crushed by overwhelming stress and defeat, in my opinion of course). the few people I want to tell are the ones who I don’t want seeing me as a burden.

this sort of situation makes me rethink the current circle of friends that I have, how I see them and how I see myself.

do I really want to change the way I think of others just so that I wouldn’t be so disappointed all the time?

about this stress

I had really hoped to go home this weekend. I have family that’s been suffering and I hate being so far away from them when I know I can comfort. I wanted to come home and visit, to lend a hand and an ear, and to bring a smile to someone’s face.

imagine the heartache that smacked me at noon when I realised there was no way this assignment was going to get done in any way, shape or form by tomorrow afternoon. I cried so hard at the disappointment I had towards myself. after dispensing my tears for an hour, I decided to get back to work only to realise I had saved over my current version of code, and my only backup was rediculously old and NOT WORKING.

at this point, the logical person might find someone with whom they could vent out their fustrations with. but no one was home, boyfriend was not to be found (surprise surprise), and that left me with nothing. so many tears in so few hours.

I’m actually at a tipping point, where anything emotional or stressful in ANY way will send me over the edge. my tears are constantly gathering in my eyes, but there are many friends over at my place for a party with the roommates (some who’ve already finished this assignment), and I want to be strong for god knows what reason.

I’m also very angry at the world, at the turning out of all these events, and at myself for how I’m handling them. since 9am this morning, I’ve gotten no further in this assignment that’s due friday. at this pace, I doubt I’ll even have half a working copy by the time it’s to be submtited.

update

a friend just came in and looked at my code, and he honestly doesn’t know why it’s not working. he claims it looks exactly like his code, which in a way should make me feel better except that it’s MY code that’s not working and HIS code that is despite the fact that they are the SAME. I was honestly hoping someone would be able to point out my error, but nothing.

fabulous.

it’s really hard trying to be strong.

monday monday

I worked on my UI assignment all day yesterday. the prof said that, for students who had no idea how to write out productions, it would take them 8 hours. it took me one and a half days. DAYS. I submitted at 1145pm, thanks wes for driving!

sleepies

ambrose and I had a late discussion about life and goals and such. as fulfilling as it was, it left us both extremely sleepies cuz we talked til 2, and we both had 830 classes. I passed out in msci against min’s poofy jacket.

home food!

my parents brought me a large amount of home food, and I’m extremely happy. especially the crab, I’m so happy I have crab! I could do so much with it, but I think I’ll just… eat it plain. cuz I’m lazy, and it’s perfect the way it is!

avacado

I left my avacado in wes’ car last night. and it stayed there overnight. I felt really bad about it, and throughout my conversations with ambrose I kept asking whether my avacado would be okay, whether it would be lonely or sad or angry at me. ambrose thinks I’m too empathetic. bah! … poor avacado. :(

networks

time to get cracking on another assignment if I want to have any fun during my reading wknd. I plan to be home wednesday to friday, so work must be done before then!
ciaos!

hell week 2 is over

sadly, it didn’t end on a good note.

networks kicked my butt good. real good. I’m actually really disappointed that I sucked so bad, I studied hard for that one. msci on the other hand went surprisingly well considering I didn’t give it a lot of time, except I got screwed over when I had to give an example for each of my definitions. on every. question. and it was only an hour. bah.

regardless, my hell week is over, and I can finally relax and … you know. do stuff. like… like that UI assignment. or networks assignment. oh the fun just doesn’t stop rolling in.

yes, I’m bitter.

co-op

look out BMO, I’m moving in!

*hugs* to min for getting qualcomm in san diego! I want to come visit! I’ll bring wes, and we’ll party!

hurray to lis for getting her job in NYC! morgan stanley! wow! she’s got a choice for cali too…. these smart kids racking in the good jobs!

fed elections

congratulations to carm for securing her position as VP admin finance! I’m so sorry your whole team didn’t win, I had hoped that all of you pull in together. of course, SOME people *jonny =P* only voted asian. hahaha. regardless, I’m proud of you. represent us well!!

friday night fun

I have nothing planned for the rest of the evening. my roomies have celebrated with snowboarding and I don’t know what time they’ll be back. the boys are heading to kickoff to watch the game, and I think I’ll relax and try to cook a good meal. *shrugs* this is my life!

ooo… jon just offered an outing to look at comp stuff and food. this sounds exciting!

comments

[dennis] then what did you pass up for lent? :)

[sunny] hey!! *hugs* how are you doing? hope you’re having fun with parents not home…

[0=)] veggies and dip is a good idea, but I’m so lazy all the time… COOKIES. yeah I didn’t buy any last time I went to bestbuy and I regret it now :(

[alex] I don’t want any fiends! :(

[steph] hrm. haha yeah it doesn’t sound very appetizing, but your description of deep frying it has won me over! where is this TVP usually sold?

[chris] quorn? hahaha, mushroom meat. interesting! wow, where can I get some of that?

webbie

that’s a picture of me with ambrose’s free honeywell stress plane. he got it during his interview. it’s a cute chubby little airplane, and it’s coming in really useful at the moment.

cravings

I want meat SO badly. I have a craving for wings, for kfc, for a big loaded pizza, for a steak, for dumplings, anything that will help me during this late night studying and I have nothing :(

except artificial bacon bits. because I don’t know what’s in them, but I know it’s not meat! =P

uncultured conversations

Phils: yeap. so i see u’re quite pro-election
tetleytee: hahaha only cuz my roomie is running. it’s a popularity contest, this year all the asian votes are gonna start flooding in
Phils: roomie? carmen?
tetleytee: yeps! awww… you remembered my roomie’s name!
Phils: not really…but i keep on getting casa (*he meant AF*) emails…and the last one said vote for carmen!
tetleytee: you should vote! ahahahaha. I’ll give you a button that says vote LAM
Phils: i can’t…i’m not an undergrad,
tetleytee: oh really? grads cant vote?
Phils: no. grads vote in grad election. feds is strictly an undergrad thing.
tetleytee: oh! learn something new everyday! still want that button?
Phils: i know…u’re so uncutured… sure!
tetleytee: there’s one that says LAM for vp admin finance and one that says LAM for … education something
Phils: gimme all! (*this appeals to him cuz he’s a LAM) hahahhah me so cool
tetleytee: hahahaa apparently the lams are popular! hahaha
Phils: baaaaaaaaaa

HAHAHAHAA oh mercy.

that being said, I suggest all waterloo students exercise their right to vote. they don’t necessarily have to vote for students first, but check out the teams that are running and vote for who you think is the best fit for the position. you throw money at them every tuition payment, so you should really see where that money is going…
http://www.feds.ca/elections/ballots.html

revelations

1. I just found out mike from fabulous daBoat has a blog. check him out at orionpaxon.blogspot.com if that link gives an error, it’s also available under the blog links (I just typed this one out from memory is all).

2. what is blogShares, and does anyone care to eplain to me how it works? I came across it when googling tetleytee (there’s a story behind that, really, I don’t just google my own site for no reason… REALLY!). that’s how I found out mike had a site. hahaha

3. 480 is a hard exam to study for. any questions can be pulled outta nowhere and the more fluff you know, the safer you are. it also requires you memorizing terminology so that you’ll recognize it in the question, but understanding what the terminology means so that you can answer the question. confused yet? at least you didn’t hafta write it! =( oh well, on the bigger and worse things: networks & msci. whoever planned the midterm schedule is laughing right now.

4. I such at remembering important things. I screwed up for Lent on day 6. that must be a record for me… I was all set on eating a cheese and mushroom pizza for lunch from phat cat’s, until matt whipped out these harvey coupons and everything rational just wiped itself clean outta my brain. a BURGER. c’moooon. yes, I ate it. and yes, I am guilty. but I’m poor, and I paid for it, and I’ll be damned if I was gonna let min devour my food!

5. Lent makes me extremely hungry. I eat veggies and seafood and all that good healthy stuff, but my tummy seems to be able to know when it’s not getting actual hunks of red meat. it gives me the “I’m hungry, but not too hungry. figure it out” kinda feeling that distracts from my studying.

I think that’s all the ramblings I have. the only important posts were the first two points. the rest just came out with the typing (I’m sure that’s very obvious as well). I’m sad that there’s no Amazing Race to watch until March 1st, I guess I’ll just stick to Idol tonight. which is good in a sense, cuz that means there’s less time spent infront of the tv and (hopefully) more time infront of my notes.

happy vday!

on valentine’s day – zefrank.com

“that was back when we really understood the rules of attraction, it was just yes or no. no maybe. maybe came later, when we understood words like salary, job security, male pattern baldness.”

:)

tee is a happy happy camper. after hell week 1 was officially over, I went with wes. jane & min to costco and stocked up on all things seafood (7 salmon fillets and giant bags of frozen shrimp & veggies, salsa, pasta sauce and whole wheat pasta, mushrooms, milk, etc) to help me through my no meat phase.

afterwards, I went with ed to weavers to pick up my candygrams from “jeff” (hahaha, they were from carm) and he dropped me off at ambrose’s so I could surprise him. the poor boy is stressed and overworked. :( but we had a pleasant evening and studied a lot. saturday we went out for dinner at king st trio. mmm!!! what amazing food! *drool*

came back, spend some good quality time with him and left this morning to go to church with wayne, matt & min. felt kinda bad cuz I kinda dozed off (stayed up late at ambrose’s doing laundry til 1!) and now I’m home, really sleepies and trying to read 480.

all in all I had an amazing wknd. I hope you guys did too!

and steph! any vegetarian, easy-to-cook recipes would be really helpful! thank you!!

You are currently browsing the tetleytee blog archives for February, 2005.